Nurse Feelbad and the stressing of the Zombie Manager

[ Entry written after the fact and retro-published to the date of occurrence. ]

"This is what we will do..." began the nurse, who reminded me of Dr. Ruth Westheimer. "We will attach these lead wires to your body and inject you with this chemical. Your heart will react as if it is under stress."

"Nurse, I think I saw this in a Twilight Zone episode. Can't you just unstrap me from this gurney, and let me run on the treadmill like everyone else?"

"The doctor insists that we stress you without physical activity."

"...then I'll call a couple of folks at the office. You'll see more stress than you can measure."

"Mr. Arledge, I'm afraid this will burn going in."

"That reminds me. I've had a severe headache since they put this nitro-glycerine patch on my leg."

"That is good." She said. "Then you will not notice the headache caused by the injection."

Within moments my heart was racing, and I was convinced that I was about to die.

Everything became really fuzzy after that. I may have dozed off, as the next thing I remember was two nurses arguing over what time they gave me the injection. One said that the question was critical in order to determine when the "antidote" should be administered. Silly me, I always associated antidotes with poison.

After Dr. Ruth gave me another injection, my body slowly regained a state she called "base normal." In this state you are still stressed, but your heart is no longer about to explode.

They wheeled me into a corner and told me to wait.

What else could I possibly do?

I could become nauseous, delirious and pale as a sheet.

One of the younger nurses—in her most professional manner—screamed. Another said, "This guy looks just like a zombie."

Someone said I had no blood pressure.

Dr. Ruth said that the antidote lowered blood pressure—and so did the nitro-glycerine patch. That could be the problem.

They gave me some orange juice and parked me in the corner by an old guy in a wheelchair.

The old guy just smiled. "You'll be fine in an hour." He said. "I go through this all of the time."