Myth 3: Sugar-coated counseling corrects bad behavior

[The forth part of six on the "Five Myths about Managing People" from Lisa Haneberg's book, High Impact Middle Management.]

Lisa Haneberg says...

"Many good managers falter when it comes to counseling their employees effectively. Managers will often sandwich criticism between positive statements so the employee will not feel bad or react poorly. This sandwich technique doesn't work, however, because employees see right through the effort and don't focus on the important points conveyed. If a manager needs to counsel an employee, it should be done in a manner that is direct, clear, and candid."

At first, I didn't agree with Lisa's assessment of this one—mainly because what she says not to do, I do regularly. In retrospect, Lisa was right, and I was wrong.

I am not one to ignore bad behavior, but I don't always jump on it straight-away. It feels so contrary to my belief in team self-management—but self-management without boundaries is anarchy. The trick is knowing where the line is.

How have I been addressing undesirable actions?

I usually start with a public joke or two about the behavior—hoping the team member will get the hint and correct the behavior. If that doesn't work, I have a light counseling session not all that different from the one Lisa describes. Then, finally—if the other tactics have failed—I have "the serious talk".

The reason I now believe that this route was a mistake?

First, it is contrary to the philosophy of truth, trust, and transparency. And Second, we often end up having that serious talk anyway. It may save both parties time if we start there.