For hundreds of years, Santa and his elves have delivered toys to good little boys and girls around the globe, but few realize the operation was supported through sales of excess toy stock to the various department stores year-round.
This process worked flawlessly for centuries—before the arrival of the evil Toy Meister and his army of marketeers.
"You must be crazy!" The department stores told him. "You can't compete with Santa in the toy market. He has centuries of experience in this domain.
"He produces a great product, because he has learned from years of mistakes—while constantly evolving and improving his product and processes..."
"...and his cross-functional team of elves, reindeer, and snow-people have spent just as much time growing and honing their teamwork skills. Together, they have established an honest, trusting environment among themselves and their customers."
"How can you possibly compete with such an unstoppable force?"
"Easy", the Toy Meister responded. "I'll lie."
"There is no reason to make solid, defect-free toys." He said. "I just need to make toys that look good. If they sparkle and shine—and I can sell them for less—I will run Santa Clause and his team of misfits out of the business!"
True to his word—for once in his life—the Toy Meister provided glitter and glitz. His product really shined, and his army of marketeers promised potential customers anything they asked for.
From his perspective, all the Toy Meister needed to conquer the toy market was one big customer, then he would have everyone's attention.
Then one day, the Toy Meister gained an audience with the King of Oranges. The King of Oranges loved the Toy Meister's pretty toys, and he was really impressed by the marketeer's flowery speeches. In fact, he was impressed enough to buy toys for everyone in his kingdom!
Within months however, the tide turned, and the kingdom of Orange learned the truth: His pretty toys were defective—and as untrustworthy as the army of marketeers who sold them.
The King of Oranges grew angry and commanded his large legion of lawyers to wage war against the marketeers.
This infuriated the Toy Meister.
He called forth his magic wallet and purchased a larger legion of lawyers, declaring to all who would listen:
"From now on, if we suspect that someone is about to get hurt by one of our broken toys, we will send our lawyers to attack them before they have time to attack us."
While his legal team was busy at work, the Toy Meister scoured the country-side, searching for gullible store-owners to wine and dine.
Then one day, another idea came to the little dwarf:
"Rather than waste his time with individual store-owners, I'll throw money at the store owner associations that the smaller stores belong to."
In time, everyone fell prey to the Toy Meister's spell—and spent millions on his defective toys.
Santa and his team were saddened but not concerned. They believed in integrity. They believed that if they were honest with their customers—and worked hard to meet their customer's needs—truth and transparency would win in the long run.
They believed this with all of their hearts...
...but they were mistaken.
In time, consumers were hurt by the defective toys, but most buyers were afraid to admit their mistakes. They didn't want to be unemployed.
That's when the children cried out for help!
...but Santa was not there to hear them.
His sleigh and nine tiny reindeer were shot down during World War II—over Arkansas.
Impoverished, Santa's wife, Glenda, moved the elves to Hollywood, where they starred in a motion picture called "The Wizard of Oz". Within five years of the movie's debut, most of the elves had committed suicide, and Glenda died of a broken heart, alone in a cardboard box in an East Los Angeles back alley.
...and, of course, Santa's Snow People were the first victims of global warming.
Today, parents are forced to buy their children toys for Christmas morning—toys that break, usually before New Year's Day.
The Toy Meister is alive and well.
Earlier this year, seeking cheaper labor last, he moved his operation to China.
The moral of this story:
You can fool some of the people, some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people, all of the time—unless you have a magic wallet, an army of marketeers, and a large legion of lawyers.
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